OutOfYourRut.com » dreams

You Make Your Own Breaks on the Way to Your Dreams

Kevin M — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:05:08 +0000

By Dave Kelly

One of my guilty pleasures is watching the audition shows of the various performance shows like American Idol and Last Comic Standing. So, of course, I was in front of my TV last month to watch the American Idol audition shows.

Some very talented people who auditioned received the golden ticket to Hollywood.

Some really bad singers did not and they were legitimately surprised when they failed to make it to the next round! (Don’t you think some of them just had to know how bad they really were?)

Then there were those who weren’t so bad, but they didn’t get the golden ticket. These people might actually have a shot at a career in music but, for whatever reason, did not pass the judges’ muster.

It is the last group that fascinates me. Some of them were so upset. Some even begged the judges for another chance, because this competition was their only chance to make it. They knew they were meant to be in the music business and if only they could participate in the competition of American Idol, they could prove that they were worthy of such a career.

And if not chosen? I guess that in their minds, they believed that their opportunities were over. At least, that’s how it seems from the post-audition interviews.

Gee, so there is only ever one vehicle or opportunity in life for us to achieve our dreams?

And your life can be over at the age of 19.

Really?

Are you kidding me?

Well, I suppose if someone is willing to give up on their “dream” so easily, then maybe it isn’t meant to be.

But, if it is real, if it is in your heart, then you can make your own break. You don’t have to be the next Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood. Maybe you are more like Taylor Swift, who is a huge country artist with pop-crossover appeal who has made it on talent and persistence.

I was over 40 when I made my big break to pursue a career as a professional speaker. But even my first year of being a full-time speaker was not great. I only had 10 speaking engagements and could have easily been discouraged. But, I persevered and pushed on and tripled that number the next year. Because of my persistence and determination, my career has grown every year since.

Am I famous? No. Have I been on Oprah? No. Has MTV called me to join the cast of Real World: Motivational Speakers? No.

Simply put, there is no single path to the achievement of your dreams. Find one that works for you. Even if you have to make your own.

There is, however, one attribute that is absolutely necessary: Belief.

Believe in yourself and you will do amazing things.

And if you believe in yourself…

…then I believe in you, too!

Dave Kelly is a professional speaker and host of the website Gonzospeaks.com, and a contributing writer here on OutOfYourRut.com. His career story is also a feature here at Professional Speaking—Turning a Hobby Into a Career. Dave is available for speaking engagements either through his website or by emailing Kevin at OutOfYourRut

Shine like a star, know who you are

Kevin M — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:13:30 +0000

By Dave Kelly

I got this month’s tip from a future speaking star! She is an energetic young lady who is one of the most positive people I know. She approaches life with fun and excitement and is great to be around.

When I asked her about this quote, she told me how important it is to know who you are and be that person.

Simple idea, huh?

Yet, how often do you act in ways that are different than who you really are? At work, school, even around friends, many times we put on personas that are not our “real person”, our inner self. We are told to grow up and relinquish things that give us joy. In the movie “Heathers”, the character played by Winona Ryder gave up playing with Barbie dolls with her best friend in order to join the “in” crowd, to become someone she wasn’t. After much mayhem, she found her true self and saved her friends from a horrible fate.

For years, I was a hot-shot mortgage broker with offices in several states. I was building a company in a business that I really did not enjoy. I played the part of business man for 10 of those years. I was successful, but not happy.

What I really wanted was to be on stage. I wanted to be in front of audiences. I wanted to help people change their lives in deep, meaningful ways.

So, I became who I was meant to be—a professional speaker. In mid-2004 I changed my focus from mortgages to speaking and my life has been so much better for it. I have an opportunity to “shine like a star” every day and especially each time I step on stage.

Oh, and that future speaking star with the super-positive attitude? Her name is Katie and she turns 7 on Thursday. If she understands this at her age, what is holding you back?

Time to shine!

Champions do what it takes to achieve their dreams!

Kevin M — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:42:51 +0000

By Dave Kelly

Are you sleep-deprived from watching the Olympics? I know I am! Watching the best in the world compete in so many different sports and disciplines was incredibly inspiring.

I heard all kinds of stories throughout the Olympics about the routines the athletes went through in order to become the best in the world. Many were up at 5:00 am, working out before and after school or work. Their weekends were spent away from family and friends and many had special diets. Of course, it would be cool to consume 10,000 calories a day like swimmer Michael Phelps and still be in condition to win eight gold medals!

I would probably sink.

Most of us could not keep up the pace of an Olympic athlete. But there are things we can do to make our routine work for us in the pursuit of our dreams. Would getting up an hour earlier to exercise put you in a more success-oriented frame of mind? How about journaling your thoughts, ideas, and ambitions? Perhaps you could commit to reading an inspirational book each week.

The point is this: look at what it is you want to do and what it’s going to take to get you there.

Are there behaviors, habits, or distractions that you need to change? Or even get rid of?

Achieving your dream is your moment on the victory stand. Do what you need to do in order to become the champion you want to be.

Go for your own gold medal!

Dare to Dream and See What Comes Up

Kevin M — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 10:45:22 +0000

By Kevin M

“We don’t realize how much hope drives our lives. When hope is gone, life looks a lot different, a lot darker.”–David L. Heller (1913-1992), a cherished friend and mentor

Somewhere along the path of life we lose our dreams. Life rolls along, we have responsibilities, bills to pay, obligations—we “grow up”. Over time, that all becomes our reality, our place in the universe. We get used to it, accept it, go on, and tell ourselves that all is well. When the economy trips and falls, pulling most of us down at least a little, the abandonment finds its’ greatest justification as we rally to cope with the crisis at hand.

And what of our dreams, our best hopes for our lives? Oh, their there somewhere in the recesses of our minds, we just don’t think about them so much—there just isn’t time.

But there’s a problem with that: take away our dreams and hopes and life becomes a rote exercise, a process of going through the motions. There’s no more big picture, and life become a process of filling the hours, punctuated by intermittent incremental improvements.

Is that the way life is meant to be?

Some might hold that the more pragmatic life we settle into by default is “just the way it is”, but I’d argue against it. Dreams aren’t just a fringe aspect of our personalities, a place where we go to take refuge from the troubles of reality; they represent our aspirations and help define who we are, and more important, who we can become.

Many aspects of our lives tend to be static: height, eye color, place of birth, the family we’re born into, race, ethnicity, where we went to school, where we grew up–all markers of who and where we are at a moment in time.

In total contrast, dreams represent the dynamic side of us, the people we hope to become. Take that aspect of us away, and there’s little progress, no rising above to be the better selves we can all become. I’d wager that all progress in human existence, whether individual or collective, started with a dream for something better.

Any attempt to better oneself, to enter a new career, to go for a promotion, to lose weight, to marry, to have a family, to invent something new, starts with a dream for something better, something higher. It’s what separates us from living as the animals do, surviving each day but dreaming, hoping, aspiring for nothing better.

Maybe we need to back up

Since our dreams are that important, let’s work at rekindling them if we’ve lost touch with them, or of nurturing them if they still live in our conscious minds, and do so without reservation. Our futures may depend upon it.

In an attempt to reconcile our present lives with the perfect life of our dreams, let’s try a three part exercise to elevate those dreams to a level of relevancy.

1) Imagine your Perfect Life. What would you have if your life were perfect? What kind of work would you be doing? What would you be doing to entertain yourself? What would you be doing to have an impact on the people around you or even on the world? Lay it all out here, no one else will see this!

2) Make a list of all of the positive elements of your Perfect Life. Within the context of your Real Life, categorize each element from your Perfect Life as a. doable, b. possible, c. unlikely, and d. impossible.

3) Implement as many of the positive elements of your Perfect Life into your Real Life as you can. Starting with those that are doable, begin adding them to your Real Life.

Sound impossible? Let’s take a closer look.

Putting it all together

In Step 2 we list and categorize the positive elements of our Perfect Life, sorting them in order of compatibility with our Real Lives. To shorten the list to it’s most workable dimension, take the “Impossible” list and put it aside for now. We want to work with the most relevant elements first; if one of your dreams is to be a professional basketball player, but you’re 50 years old and only five feet, six inches tall…that one will have to be reworked a bit. We’ll get back to the Impossible list in a moment.

The Doable list is what we need to concentrate on first. These are the components of our Perfect Lives that can most easily be blended into our Real Lives. Are they worth it? If they are, start blending. Even if the elements are small, the most inconsequential items on your wish list, implementing them can be downright liberating!

Add enough Doables to your Real Life, and the Possible list might start to look even more possible! Work on ways to add as many items from both lists as you can. Even if the items on the Doable and Possible lists won’t bring you to your Perfect Life, they will get you closer to it. More important, it’ll also give you the incentive and the courage to keep the direction going.

The Real Dreams

The Unlikely list is where implementation will get more difficult. This is most likely because this is the list containing some of the more daring elements, the kind that will move you out of your comfort zone and into your Perfect Life. But begin implementing from this list and in all probability, you’re now moving directly into your dreams.

Now, let’s revisit the Impossible list. This list probably contains your highest dreams—which is why they seem impossible from where you sit today. In fact they may not have been possible at any time of your life, but that doesn’t mean they have no relevancy in your life.

True, on deeper analysis, some goals on this list may have to be tossed. But others may be worked in on a reduced level. Getting back to our professional basketball player example, maybe that dream isn’t worth pursuing if you’re short and over 50 years old, but it still tells us something.

You aspire to be athletic, to be competitive, to be part of a team, and those are not only positive goals, but they’re also doable. Maybe you’ll never make it to the NBA, but you could join a team in an amateur league (or get one started!) and join others with similar aspirations. That in turn may cause you to work out regularly, to improve your game, and all of that is worthy of doing. You don’t get a professional contract, but it gets you away from the widescreen watching others perform, and out performing yourself. Not your perfect dream, but closer to it than you are right now!

The basic idea is to reinvigorate those dreams you have (or at least used to have). Ever wonder why youth is so optimistic? Yes, some of it is most definitely based on ignorance of ugly reality, but more likely, it’s because they have dreams. And they believe that they’ll actually live those dreams one day.

Are your dreams worth moving into reality? Start working on it, and life may start being fresher, newer and more worth living again.

You can do this!

Kevin M — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:24:39 +0000

By Dave Kelly

You can.

You have infinite power and ability that was placed in you the moment you were conceived.

You must choose to make use of those God-given talents and abilities.

Most people don’t, or won’t.

What’s holding you back? Fear of failure? Lack of money? No road map? The moment is not perfect? Get over it!

ACT NOW!!

“The longest journey begins with a single step,” (Lao Tzu, 600 BCE). Take the first step! And then the next one, and then the next, and so forth until you find yourself living a life you love.

The universe is watching… Your soul is yearning… Your dreams are waiting…

“You can do this!”

Create a vision for yourself and share it with as many people as you can

Kevin M — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 12:53:17 +0000

By Dave Kelly

“I am a successful professional speaker.”

That is an affirmation that I have told myself repeatedly, up to six times per day, for the last five years. That means I began telling it to myself before anyone had ever paid me for speaking or training! After almost 20 years in the mortgage business, I had created a new vision for myself, “To make my career as a professional speaker”. I told everyone that I was indeed a professional speaker. Whenever I was introduced at Circle K and Kiwanis events, it was as a professional speaker. I even launched my web site two and a half years before I got serious about marketing myself as a speaker!

I spoke my vision into existence…and the universe has responded.

Some people call it prayer, some karma, but I feel that when we verbalize positive visions for ourselves and believe they will come true, our brains respond in powerful ways. Our brains have so much negativity coming into them on a daily basis (most of it we put there ourselves) that when we speak something bold and challenging in a positive way, our subconscious gets so excited that it cannot help but work to make it come true.

I remember standing in the back of a campground meeting room a few years ago, about to be introduced as District Administrator for Georgia Circle K, when the person who was reading my intro (which I had written) said that I was a professional speaker. In that moment, vision became action because I realized I had been saying it for a couple of years, yet had not acted upon my dream. As soon as I returned from that retreat, I committed myself to becoming a professional speaker. Shortly thereafter, I got my first paid speaking engagement and was accepted as a Lead Facilitator for the Key Leader program. I have only looked forward since.

What is your dream? What is your vision for your life? Write it down. Say it to yourself at least six times a day until it becomes ingrained in your mind. Share it with everyone you meet until they start to verbalize it. Then, take a step towards making the dream come true. And then another, and another. Soon you will find yourself pursuing a life you have long sought after.

You have the ability and talent to make your dreams come true

Kevin M — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 12:10:54 +0000

MONDAY MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT

By Dave Kelly

“Really? I do?”

Absolutely. You were provided with everything you needed on the day you were born.

“Well then, why am I not happier, more successful, focused on a dream, and getting to where I want to be?”

Because you have forgotten what it is like to see possibilities and think of them as real in your life. Remember when you were a child and you dreamed of being a teacher, an astronaut, a star athlete, and an award winning actor–all in one? What happened to those dreams?

“I got real. I realized that if I was going to survive for the rest of my life that I have to prepare for and get a job. Even if it is doing something I don’t enjoy.”

Then maybe your talents and abilities lie somewhere else. Not in your college major or in your job, but in doing something more. Think of it this way…what would you love to do, that is so worthwhile, that you would do if financial considerations were removed?

“Hmmmmm…”

That is the question you need to ask yourself. Because that is where your passion lies and where your talent and abilities will come to life. I believe that everyone is born with the ability to be the best in the world at something. We see the world champion athletes and top entertainers all the time, but what about the best at crochet and knitting? Or working with kids? Or being a parent, aunt, uncle, or friend? Now, you may not be able to make a career of what you are best in the world at, but if it is your passion, then it makes earning a living worthwhile.

However, how great would it be – and could it be – to find that which you are passionate about, that you love to do, and have the talent and ability to excel at and then find someone willing to pay you for doing it!

You are hereby given permission to picture yourself on the “medal stand” of life…a world champion you!

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