By Kevin M

Have you ever noticed that truly successful people have little trouble saying “no”? They may do it politely, but they do it and do it often. And they’re on to something.

“No” is a control word, a word that has real power. When we use it, we’re in control. When we don’t, we’re open to the control of others.

By saying “no”, we guard our time, our efforts and even our money. When we say “yes”, or even “maybe”, it can mean open season on all three. If you’re a “yes-junkie”—a person who feels compelled to say “yes” to nearly any request for help from nearly anyone—you might be your own worst enemy.

If we’re going to get anywhere in life we need to focus on what it is that we do best. Life is multi-faceted, but we all have two or three things that are especially important, and that’s where being able to say “no” is critical. It’s the little word that when spoken emphatically gives us the space we need to do what we do best.

Learning to say no—and meaning it—frees you up to move on to the next order of business, to that thing that moves you forward in your life. Is it any wonder that successful people master this concept?

Why we’re reluctant to say NO

What are some of the reasons we might find it hard to say “no”?

• We want to please others and saying “yes” usually accomplishes that
• Saying “yes” is easy; saying “no” often opens up a line of questioning
• We don’t like confrontation, and that happens a lot more when we say “no”
• When we’re really thinking “maybe” or “I’ll see”, we instead default to “yes”; after all, we never want to seem indecisive
• Saying “no” might indicate that we aren’t “team players”
• Like a candy bar, “yes” brings a short term high—“no” can bring on a guilt trip
• We learned to hate hearing “no” when we were small children and never outgrew it
• The word “no” has a negative connotation and we don’t want to be negative
• Saying “yes” has become a habit
• We think “I’m a nice person, and nice people say YES!”

It would appear that our reasons for not wanting to say “no” have more to do with psychology and emotion than with reason and logic. And that’s the main purpose for setting up a list that highlights the reasons. It might be easier to get control of our fear of saying no if we can get a handle on the reasons why we do.

The problems we cause by refusing to say NO

Not being able to say “no” has a way of complicating our lives. Not only will the infrequent use of the word take us away from our main goals, but it also has the potential to complicate life by drawing us into situations we have no business being in. Consider the problems we bring on ourselves because we don’t want to say “no”:

We can over-extend ourselves. How many obligations can you juggle in life? The more you say “yes”, the more obligations you take on. Each of us has time and energy for only so much activity, and if we get pulled in too many directions we can quickly become part of the problems in life, not the solutions.

We become distracted. Focus is an underappreciated concept. The more directions we’re pulled in, the less focus we have. The less focus we give to our most important endeavors, the less successful we’ll be.

We set ourselves up to be manipulated by others. If you’re a yes-junkie, then others will always have undo control over your time and efforts. Some people can never do anything on their own while others are perpetually needy. You can’t fix that and helping them will never improve their circumstances. The best thing you can do for them is to cut them off and let them learn to fend for themselves. (More likely, they’ll find other yes-junkies!)

We damage our self-esteem. What usually happens when we say yes to someone is that we give them our time or our efforts. If we say yes to most requests that come across our paths, then we can degrade our own time and effort. In most cases, we’re giving away our resources—time and effort—for free. If we’re virtually giving them away, then they effectively become worthless. When what we have to offer doesn’t have value, we can question our own worth.

We help everyone accomplish their goals, but never accomplish our own. This is the deepest root of the problem. While it may seem noble to help others, that effort can drain our ability to go where we’re heading. If you find that you’re always missing the mark on your goals, the answer may be in your inability to say “no” to enable yourself to concentrate on what it is you truly need to be doing.

The benefits of saying NO

When we learn to say “no”, we begin to free up our time and energy to concentrate on what’s really important.

Let go of the “chief cook and bottle washer syndrome.” Each of us can wear only so many hats in life and still be effective. When we say “no”, we’re getting rid of them, and that’s a good thing. No matter how talented you may be, you can’t do it all. It’s just a delusion, and once its gone life gets more productive.

Change the expectations of those around you. People have a way of coming back again and again to those who help them. Have you ever noticed that people will go to some for help while avoiding others completely? That has to do with expectations—and you want to be in the second group. While it might feel good to be needed, it isn’t terribly productive! If you stop trying to put out the fires in everyone’s lives, they’ll start respecting your time. We all need that.

Ability to concentrate. Each of us has only so much time and energy to live our lives, so it’s important that we spend it on activities that will have the greatest impact. Better to accomplish one or two goals completely than to hit a dozen halfway.

“Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all your energies on a limited set of targets”—Nido Qubein

Make sense?

More free time. Accomplishing our goals is important, but so is having time to enjoy life. The more we say “no”, the fewer obligations we have, and the more time we have for everything, including rest and relaxation. There’s a double benefit to this as well: the better rested we are, the more effective we can be at what ever we do. Think of it as an energy multiplier.

 
Sometimes it seems as if we wander through life in a fog. So much is coming at us so quickly that we feel overwhelmed. It’s not that we can’t handle what’s coming at us—we usually can—we just can’t handle so much at once. One of the best ways to get control of this is by using that tiny but powerful word “no”. It blocks the distractions, intrusions and manufactured obligations that can slow us down and drain the life out of us.

Try saying “no” more frequently and see if you don’t find yourself having more time, energy—and success.

Next Post: The Fallacy of Multi-tasking

By Kevin M

While nearly everyone in the industrialized world is practically fixated on the importance of a comfortable retirement, reality may be heading in a very different direction. A report from US News (via Yahoo! Finance) entitled Why the Middle-Aged Are Missing Out on New Jobs, highlights the reasons why full retirement is getting harder to achieve for so many people.

“Numerous surveys show that perhaps half of all Americans heading toward their retirement years lack enough savings to maintain their current standard of living as they age… Add to that fears of cutbacks in Social Security and Medicare, due to the skyrocketing national debt. The golden years, for many, aren’t shimmery at all… Many seniors say they plan to postpone retirement or work indefinitely, and the data shows they’re doing just that… rising later-life employment is probably a sign of economic stress that could last awhile.”

On the surface, the article is dealing with the absence of jobs for the middle aged. But the reason it spends so much time discussing the retirement prospects of the elderly may be the more significant story. Apparently the reason middle aged workers can’t get jobs is because the elderly are working longer to delay or forgo retirement and reducing the number of jobs available to middle aged workers. That in and of itself means that fewer current middle aged workers will have the financial resources to retire when their turn comes—a vicious circle with no end in sight.

If you’ve spent much time on this website in the past, you know that this is a topic I’ve written on numerous times. It’s the “B side” of the retirement discussion—the side that gets little coverage—and stands in stark contrast to far more typical analyses that are dominated by convincing projections on how a few thousand dollars invested each year will make you a millionaire living a life of luxury by the time you’re 65.

I don’t think the majority of people will have that kind of retirement. But that doesn’t mean that the situation is all grim or that some form of retirement won’t be available to most people. Most of us, I suspect, will settle into a life of semi-retirement. If you think that will some kind of failure, read on…

The Good News on Semi-Retirement

At first glance, the trend toward semi-retirement seems like gloom-and-doom fodder. And while it’s true that the trend is being driven by negative factors, such as back-to-back stock market crashes, a major drop in real estate values and the absence of back-in-the-good-old-days defined benefit pension plans, semi-retirement actually holds a number of advantages over the full blown version. In fact, I prefer to think of it as a positive response to a negative set of circumstances.

No need to wait until you’re 65. Most people have to wait until they’re 65 (or older) in order to fully retire because it will take them most of their working lives to be able to accumulate sufficient money to afford it. But if you semi-retire, you can actually do it anytime you’re ready. Semi-retirement becomes a lifestyle, while full retirement is a far off event on the calendar.

Having more free time when you’re young enough to enjoy it. It’s common for people to envision a perfect retirement when they’ll finally be able to enjoy all of the activities and adventures they never had time for during their working years. But sadly, that retirement often occurs at the same time that debilitating health conditions set in, limiting options.

Maintaining good health becomes a priority. Would you take better care of yourself if you knew you’d be working right up until the very end of your life? Probably. Unfortunately, health concerns often take a back seat to financial plans. It’s almost a self-fulfilling prophecy that we neglect our health in order to focus on saving up enough money for the time when we might not have our health. The very effort itself takes a toll on the body. If you semi retired in say, five years, instead of waiting for full retirement at 65, you’d have more time in the intervening years to maintain and improve your health. That might make the “golden years” a little more golden than having a few extra bucks in your 401K.

Enforces a lower cost lifestyle. Retirement planning is hyper-focused on the accumulation of money. In fact it often seems that retirement itself is determined entirely the size of one’s bankroll. But what about living expenses—the almost unmentioned critical other half of the retirement equation? The size of the bankroll needed for retirement will fall in direct proportion the level of your cost of living. Once you lower that, many things become possible.

Greater certainty. The farther out our plans, the less certain they become. A semi-retirement planned for five years out will be more certain than a full retirement set 30 years into the future.

A stronger connection to the world. Few of us realize the degree to which work connects us to the world. It’s usually only post-retirement that anyone figures that out. It’s ironic that the thing we’re working to break away from through retirement is the very one that gives us much of our relevancy in life.

Creates a lifelong time horizon. 65 has become one of those life’s barriers ages—once you cross it, life is never the same. There’s life before 65 and life after it. Of course, it’s all an illusion. Apart from the fact that you’ll stop working at that age, most other aspects of life will remain the same. If you’re semi-retired, there is no such barrier age. You won’t be 40 and thinking about the next 25 years, you’ll be properly thinking of the rest of your life, which could be another 40 or 50 years. That kind of time horizon could change your outlook on a lot of things.

Forces us to find our life’s calling. If there were no retirement, no end to the work you’re doing, what work would you choose? If you’re waiting for retirement to relieve your work burden, this question may not be relevant to you. But if you plan to work for the rest of your life, finding and pursuing that career, business or job that you were “born to do” would become one of the most critical missions in your life. In fact, if you’re doing work you really love, retirement won’t even be necessary. Semi-retirement would force you to do this.

Making Semi-Retirement a Reality

So if we want to semi-retire sooner, rather than waiting for 65 or some other age when we’re financially ready for the full version, what should we do to prepare for it?

Find your life’s calling—you’ll be following it all your life

Learn to enjoy life now, even at least a little bit each day

If you don’t think you can afford to semi-retire, check out this post about a man named John. A young man, he already has what most of us are working feverishly to achieve much later in life. John isn’t semi-retired, not yet, but he’s in a position to do so. Any of us can—and it has far less to do with money than we think.

Also, if you’re interested in developing additional income streams, either for retirement or to help prepare for it and fund it, check out my post on freelance blog writing. It’s the kind of work and business you can easily run well past retirement age.

What do you think about the prospect of semi-retirement vs. full retirement? Do you think it has advantages? What else can we do to prepare for it?

Related Posts:

Over 50 – No Pension, No 401K – What Now?

Save for Retirement Now or Payoff Your Mortgage First?

Steady Paycheck VS. Self-Employment; Which is Right For You?

Good Retirement Planning Should Include a Low Cost/Debt Free Lifestyle

Will a Million Dollars Be Enough to Retire On?

Radical Self-Reliance in the New Economy

By Kevin M

Money Reasons did a review on a book called How Rich People Think. I commented on the post, and it got me to thinking about some issues that may go deeper than rich versus non-rich. As much as we might want to think of rich and non-rich as a state of being, there are components to each that make them happen—a mechanical process perhaps.

Much of that seems to come down to how we think about money. Money is the conventional dividing line between rich and poor, but it seems that our attitude toward it—whether we see money as an obstacle or as an opportunity —seems to have a huge impact on where we go with it.

So how exactly do we define obstacle and opportunity mindsets as it relates to money? Rather than attempting a deep analysis, we might be better to focus on examples of each type of thinking. In this way, we can not only see our own thinking, but we might also see how it either holds us back or pushes us forward.

Money as an obstacle

If you see money as an obstacle, you’re likely to see common ground with several of the following:

• You’re mind is never far from your pile of bills
• A single large bill has you in a state of near paralysis
• You worry about potential upcoming bills
• You hope you can make it to the end of the month; next month, the same cycle will repeat as it has for years
• Your financial M.O. is centered on crisis management
• You’re scared to death that you’ll lose your job—and have no idea what you’ll do then
• You don’t particularly like your job, but you play the “go-along-to-get-along-(hopefully)-until-retirement” game
• You’ve stopped entertaining serious thoughts about what you’d actually like to do for a living
• Your house and car are important components of who you are
• You fixate on your employer paid benefit package
• A comfortable retirement is the holy grail of you financial plans
• You worry about how other people will perceive your financial situation
• You live for weekends and vacations
• You’re more concerned with keeping what you have than with advancing in your career and finances
• You mostly think that luck is the main reason other people are successful
• You periodically dabble in TV infomercial get-rich-quick schemes, hoping that you’ll discover your own lucky streak along the way
• Your dreams have morphed into wishes and outright fantasies

This list is long but please know that it isn’t an attempt to insult anyone. It’s easy to come up with so many examples because most of us are either in this mindset or were raised in it. You might even say that it’s the default financial mindset.

Look at the list in total, rather than at any one of its components. Notice that the thinking effectively puts you into a box. There are no doors, no windows, no way out—in other words, you’re stuck! Because you’re surrounded by fires that need to be put out, there’s never time, money or mental energy to move forward to a better life.

The money-as-an-obstacle mindset mostly repels money, which ironically keeps its absence as the central focus in your financial life.

Money as an opportunity

If you see money as an opportunity, you’re likely to see common ground with several of the following:

• Money is a resource to be channeled, leveraged and increased
• Money is a tool that buys the really important stuff, like free time, exciting adventures, interesting experiences, freedom from worry and choosing your own destiny
• Houses and cars are important, but not if they get in the way of the really important stuff
• Pursuing opportunity is the goal—there is no end game
• Problems are details that need to be solved
• You avoid having a big pile of bills, but if you ever find yourself with one and it’s interfering with your pursuit of the really important stuff, you’ll get rid of the bills and what ever amenities that are producing them
• Nothing is certain, but you’re willing to try anyway
• You see life as a dynamic, not as a status quo, and that dynamic plays into your life’s plans
• You see a day—any day—as an opportunity to do something important
• Retirement is not the goal—living a rich and fulfilling life is
• Building a box is for others; your life is “out there”…somewhere
• Investment losses don’t paralyze you; wealth building is a process and you’re in it for the long haul—you avoid high risk speculations for exactly this reason
• You must be self-employed—there are risks to this, but a traditional job will get in the way of the really important stuff in your life and could never contain your ambitions
• Being concerned with what others think of you or your finances gets in the way of the life you’re trying to lead, so you don’t bother yourself with it
• You associate mostly with like-minded people, who feed and strengthen your convictions
• Your like-minded friends are providing you with opportunities you would never have discovered or mastered on your own

Thinking of money as an opportunity doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be rich but it does seem to attract money and it’s easy to see why. Money is held up not as the solution, but rather as a tool, an enabler, that gets the opportunist what it is he truly seeks in life.

Ironically it’s also a freer way to live. The opportunist may decide, for example, that if a house in the suburbs with a big mortgage is an obstacle to his better life, then the house will have to go. Among the obstacle crowd, this would be a heresy.
 

Our minds work much the way the rest of our bodies do—repetition and regular exercise create new patterns and habits. Do you believe that coming to think of money as an opportunity is a state of mind worth creating?

Related Posts:

Pursuing Your Passion Isn’t As Risky As It Used To Be
Work/Life Balance: Lessons From the Sea
Steady Paycheck VS. Self-Employment; Which is Right For You?
Staying Motivated When You’re Stuck in Neutral
Are You Pursuing Your Own Goals – or Filling Quotas Set By Others?
Imagine Being Owned By No One

By Jacob Mojiwat

Being at sea for long periods of time can be isolating. You cannot access the Internet or reach your friends and family at a moments notice, but there is something wonderful about being out in a world that is just you, your crew, your boat, and the elements. I find that many of the principles I live by are ideas that I formed while I was out on these adventures, away from civilization.

Here are the main ideas that I’ve been contemplating lately, and find to be truly relevant in day-to-day life:

Sometimes you have to swim against the current if you want to get to where you are going

There are so many times in life when it feels as though everything is going wrong. They say bad luck comes in threes, but all too often it comes in a tidal wave, or at least a swiftly flowing current that feels as though it will wash us away. It is hard to swim against that current. It would be so much easier, and more peaceful, to drift along with it.

Maybe it would be easier to take a job that I don’t like rather than to keep struggling to make ends meet, while applying again and again for jobs that I truly want. Maybe it would be easier to stay in a relationship that my friends and family approve of, with a partner who is financially secure, rather than getting involved with someone I am passionate about who also happens to live a life on the margins of society, struggling to get by. Maybe it would be easier to easier to heat up a frozen pizza and spend the evening watching TV, rather than exercising and cooking a healthy meal afterwards.

The thing is, though, that if I drift with that current, it will wash me out to sea. Maybe I was hoping to explore a coral reef. Maybe I wanted to take some underwater photos. Maybe I just needed to get back to my boat. The current might be strong and really tugging on me, but at times, if I want to get to where I am going, I have to push back and find the strength in myself to swim against the current.

What always surprises me is that once I start swimming against the current, it is never as hard as I thought it would be. It isn’t a back-bending effort. Instead, it’s liberating and exhilarating to accomplish something that I set my mind, and body, to do.

At sea, it’s best to wear a life jacket

I don’t think I have to tell you why life jackets are important. They can save your life. We may think we don’t need a life jacket though, as I have gone boating many times with people who told me they were strong swimmers, the weather forecast was good, that the life jackets were too heavy, too bulky, too much of a nuisance. I just ignore them and tell them to wear the life jackets anyway. Why would I do that? I’m an independent thinker and I believe in swimming against the current. Why insist on a life jacket?

Because life happens, that’s why. You can’t really predict the weather. Even a strong swimmer can get hit on the head or faint or get sick. Likewise in life, at sea or on land, we all need an emergency plan. Especially if you, like myself, believe in swimming against the current. If you’ve done something that nobody in your support network of friends and family approves of, then you have to be ready to go it alone. And that means planning ahead and taking precautions. Don’t live beyond your means and always set aside a little money for emergencies.

Find a good friend or family member who you trust to be your emergency contact, in case you need help suddenly. Think ahead about the various ways in which life could take an unexpected turn and plan ways to cushion the impact when it does. I can’t predict the weather, but I can guarantee you one thing – life happens. And when it does, you’ll be better off if you’ve anticipated the unexpected.

The fishing is better after a storm

I love storms. The more thunder and lightning, the better. But there are times in life when we go through storms that are not exciting or fun. Storms that are more like hurricanes or tornadoes, that come through our life and wreck our plans for the future, leaving us marooned, stranded, or adrift.

I can’t tell you that there’s anything enjoyable about going through alife storm, whether it’s a physical and meteorological storm, or an emotional, financial, or occupational storm. But you know what they say about weather; if you don’t like it, be patient because it will always change. Once the storm is over, you can walk on the beach and pick up unusual seashells, or you can go fishing. If you can simply take time to relish the calm and be open to possibility, your intuition will guide you to something new and
wonderful.

There is something to be said for “no wake” zones

Nobody likes having to slow down. We all want to get to where we are going and in a hurry, in possible. This is particularly relevant to me as I am often running late. But in a no wake zone, we have to slow down – a lot. I guess this is what city people experience when they get stuck in rush hour traffic. It’s what athletes experience when they have an injury. It’s what parents experience when they have to stay home with sick kids and cannot go to work. Like it or not, you have to slow down.

If you have to slow down, whether you like it or not, then you might as well try to find peace with it. I’m not a Pollyanna or even an optimist, particularly. In fact, I can be as pessimistic as they come. But at sea you have to be practical and budget your resources. If you are in a situation where you are forced to slow down and take some time, then it makes sense to budget that time to rest and renew your spirit.

Later, when you are rushing forward and desperately trying to make up time, you won’t be able to rest. Rest, meditate, and take time to enjoy life when you can, or you will burn yourself out. Humans are not perpetual motion machines so we need to take time to do our own routine maintenance. Otherwise, you’ll blow a gasket later on when you don’t have time for it.

Even with a flashlight, you can only see so far ahead

My underwater camera has a flash that will allow me to take pictures even when it is very dark, but even with a flash, you can only see a certain well-defined area within the circle of light. Beyond that, there is nothing but inky blackness. In fact, using a flashlight to try to see better makes it easier to see the area right in front of you, but makes it harder to see into the distance.

Sometimes that is true in life as well. We all get lost or off track at times, even with GPS. Wise seamen know that even if you don’t know where you are, you are somewhere. Don’t panic – if a storm comes up, do what you have to and ride it out. Being prepared beforehand will keep you better off if you find yourself in the dark. Eventually you will find your way out again, so don’t be afraid.
 

I truly believe that living these principles of the sea in everday life, is the key to success. Slow down, be prepared, and when the unexpected happens, you’ll be ready for it.

Jacob Mojiwat is passionate about the ocean and water sports. Currently he is sharing the wonders of scuba diving in Malaysia with others. His company puts together Asia diving packages for an unparalleled diving experiences.

Others cannot set goals for you, only you can – “Goals” set by others are really “quotas”

By Dave Kelly, Professional Speaker

“I am in excellent, physical condition.”

So goes one of the affirmations that I tell myself on a daily basis. Yet, I must admit, it is not true—not now, anyway. Affirmations do not have to be true in the here-and-now to be valid, but they do have to be something we commit to making true in the future.

I have had people ask me how can I be a “motivational” speaker and not be in peak physical condition? Well, after all, there is a niche for everything and everyone! Actually, changing my physical status has not been a goal for me, until now. I believe in speaking things into being and also sharing your goals and dreams with others. By writing this post, I am committing myself to making some positive changes that you should be able to see very soon.

Why not before now? Because it was not a priority for me. It has not been a goal that I could or would truthfully pursue.

Goals versus Quotas

I have had plenty of people tell me that I should do something. I may have even lost speaking opportunities as a result. The thing to understand, though, is that no one—not a boss, not a loved one, not a client—can ever set a “goal” for you. If they attempt to do so, they are actually making a “quota” for you. A quota is someone else’s expectation of what your performance should be.

Are you in sales? Your boss is not giving you a monthly, quarterly, or annual goal. You are getting a quota.

Does your spouse or partner want you to make a certain amount of money? It’s not a goal, it’s a quota.

Does your child want you to play for so many minutes before you do something else? If you do not buy into it, commit to it, and believe in it, then it is a quota. And quotas are not any fun.

Ever hear of anyone offering a “Quota Achievement Program”? Probably not. How about sitting down to do some ‘quota setting”. Oooooo, how fun (he said sarcastically).

And by the way, I will stack up my record of achieving my goals against anyone. I know how to do it and I always succeed.

So, here I go! Stay tuned and let’s see how things look come New Year’s Eve. Along the way, I will share with you how I am progressing on my journey.

In the meantime, don’t get discouraged by other people’s “quotas”. Get energized by your goals!

So my questions to you: Are pursuing your own goals – or filling quotas set by others? Do you believe in “speaking things into being”, also known as “affirmations”?

Dave Kelly is a professional speaker and host of the website Gonzospeaks.com, and a contributing writer here on OutOfYourRut.com. His career story is also a feature here at Professional Speaking—Turning a Hobby Into a Career. Dave is available for speaking engagements either through his website or by emailing Kevin at OutOfYourRut.

Controlling our tendency toward Creative Avoidance

By Kevin M

How is it that that some people seem enormously successful, yet astoundingly they have more free time than the rest of us? Have you ever noticed as well that some people who are incredibly busy are at best only moderately successful? Perhaps you’re one of them, always busy, but not having as much to show for your efforts as you think you should.

The typical human reaction to this apparent contradiction in the natural order of things is to assume that the successful person with all the time on his hands is a) lucky, b) has an “in” with important people, and even c) must be doing something unethical, immoral or illegal.

While each of those considerations isn’t beyond the realm of possibility, there’s a far greater chance that the successful person with all of the free time on his hands has found a way to
maximize his results while minimizing his efforts. He manages to do this by saying “NO” to unproductive tasks, either by making it clear to others up front that he won’t engage himself in them, or by simply refusing to participate.

Logically, isn’t that what we should all be doing?

Being busy won’t get you where you want to go

No one wins a prize, lands an important client or earns the biggest paycheck as a result of being the busiest person. Having been in that very position myself, I’ve learned that the busiest person in a company, department or family is often the organizational enabler, making it possible for others to engineer great accomplishments.

Sadly, the busiest person in an organization isn’t even the person most likely to be promoted. That’s quite possibly because the decision makers want the busy person right where she is, cleaning up and plugging holes for others. Every organization needs just such a person doing exactly what she does right where she is.

There’s nothing wrong with being diligent, with being the “go-to” guy or girl in your organization, but if you want more out of your job or career, or want to break into something completely different, you’ll need to get over your addiction to busyness and focus your efforts primarily on activities that will put the most money in your pocket—majoring on the majors!

In order to do that, we need to learn to say “no” or to otherwise disengage ourselves from unproductive activities.

Majoring on the minors

When your income is thoroughly dependent on accomplishing a relatively small number of major projects that define your career, all that efficiency you develop on small tasks becomes counter productive.

We can become so comfortable handling a large number of small tasks in assembly line fashion, that major projects can “get in the way”, always being relegated to the bottom of a never ending To Do List!

Being massively efficient in getting small tasks done can produce a false sense of security. We’re busy getting a lot of details taken care of so we feel as if we’re productive. But if we finish many small tasks and by the end of the day we haven’t completed that one major project or closed sale, we’ve failed to make meaningful progress. A complete shift in mindset is required.

Getting out of the weeds

We’ve all heard the term, “you can’t see the forest for the trees”, and that’s basically what happens when we get so caught up in the details of our business that we’re deep in it, but never on top of it. In that position we’re unaware of the big picture and thus unable to work it to any real advantage.

What can we do to get out of the weeds and centered on majoring on the majors in our careers or businesses?

Establish priorities. At the risk of being redundant, the priority must become the priority! All other distractions need to be delegated, discarded or otherwise minimized. The reality of life is that there will always be endless details that need to be attended, and we need to find ways to manage these. Succeeding at one major activity has more life transforming potential than accomplishing a dozen minor tasks efficiently.

Clear away the clutter. Look for ways to simplify life. We buy things and involve ourselves in more activities than we can comfortably accommodate. In business, if something isn’t working, get rid of it. Also eliminate business activities that are only marginally useful. The key is to clear your desk and your schedule to spend as much time as possible on activities that put money in your pocket.

Focus on the major objective. Our major objective has to be in front of us at all times, otherwise “urgent but not important” tasks will continue to dominate our time and energy. Only by concentrating our most productive time and efforts on life changing activities can we hope to get from where we are to where we want to go. The objective must be central in our thinking and planning. Use placards or computer screen savers posting your major objective so you’ll always be aware of it, then prepare to always work the details around the objective.

Concentrate on the one or two things you do best. Most of us can do one or two things very well, but when we get caught up trying to do too many things, we become the preverbal “jack of all trades, master of none”. While the rest of the world works 40, 50, 60 hours per week and more, many successful people work only 20-30 hours. But the entirety of that time is spent working on activities that put money in their pockets. We can’t balance the trivial with the meaningful, because the trivial has no constructive limit. And no matter how much of the trivial we work on, it won’t change our circumstances.

Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen (see ad banner to the left of this post) and Les Hewitt, success coaches and authors of The Power of Focus: What the Worlds Greatest Achievers Know about The Secret of Financial Freedom and Success (available at Amazon) had this to say on the subject:

“Working harder and longer hours will not solve your dilemma…You must invest most of your time every week doing what you do best, and let others do what they do best.”

“Remember, your bottom line income is directly linked to the amount of time spent in our areas of brilliance.”

Manage your time. Learn what times of the day you’re most productive, and dedicate that time to your major objective. It’s not always a matter of time invested, but the quality of the time that makes the difference. If you’re a morning person, block out the first four or five hours of each day for your major objective, and hold detail work for later in the day. The key is to give your major objective your best time.

Guard your non-business activities. One of the often ignored “details” in life is what we do in our non-business time. In trying to accomplish anything worthwhile, we may have to give up some un-productive spare time activities in favor of greater effort at our major objective. One of the biggest time wasters is television, but it has plenty of company in the form of computer games, shopping and various gadget obsessions. Simplicity requires that we eliminate as many non-essential past times as possible. Upshot: once we begin succeeding in our major objective, we’ll have even more time for non-business activities.

Take charge of “people issues”. Do you have people in your life who always need your attention? You know, the type who always seem to have a crisis going on. And always said person comes to you to help them weather the storm. The problem is that their storm never seems to end, and neither does your involvement. If you have people like this in your life, you may need to find a way of gently moving them out of your way. Immediate family are your obligations, but friends, coworkers and extended family are another matter entirely. It’s one thing to help someone through a crisis, but quite another when their entire lives are one giant crisis. This is draining emotionally, and it will take away from your major objective.

 
The key is to focus your best time on your goals—to major on the majors—to minimize attention to never ending detail and learning to say “no”, either literally or figuratively, to people and activities that take you away from that objective.
 

If you’re making a significant change in your life, what are some methods your using to keep you focused on majoring on the majors?”

By Dave “Gonzo” Kelly

That is what Fortune (Charles S. Dutton) asks of Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger near the end of the movie “Rudy”. This is after Rudy has been denied the opportunity to dress (be on the sideline in uniform) for the final game of his senior season at Notre Dame. Rudy was never good enough to be a member of the team, but he spent two years working harder than anyone as a member of the practice squad. At the end of his junior year, Notre Dame head coach Ara Parseghian promised to let Rudy dress for a game during his senior season due to his hard work and dedication.

But after Rudy’s junior season, Parseghian decided to retire.

The new coach, Dan Devine, did not know about this promise, nor did he intend to let Rudy dress for a game. Rudy went through the entire season checking the weekly dress schedule and never saw his name on it. After the schedule for the final game was posted and his name was not on it, Rudy decided to quit. He walked out of the locker room determined to miss his final practice.

Then he ran into Fortune, who had been a mentor to Rudy. And Fortune reminded him of who he was.

Rudy returned to practice. The seniors rallied to his side and convinced the coach to let him dress. He even got into the game for the final couple of plays. The movie ends with Rudy being carried off the field by his teammates. But it almost never happened!

What if he had not gone back to that practice? What if the example he had set had not resonated with his teammates? What if he had actually given up? Then he would never have known victory.

And he was only moments away from it.

I have to admit that even me, the master motivator, sometimes wonders if I am going to truly make it as a professional speaker. As an artist, if you go for even a short period of time without an engagement, you can get discouraged. You think you will never get booked again. But, you cannot think like that because victory is right around the corner!

Just as I was in a low point, I had a big victory the other day. My blog & video posted at CampusTalkBlog called “Building Leaders Through Community Service” that I referenced above had been viewed by over 250 people on the very first day!

But what if I had given up before writing that blog?

I believe the blog will result in some speaking engagements for me, however, the most important thing is that more students will become involved in community service because I am able to share my experiences and knowledge about servant leadership.

Press on! Don’t give up! Pursue your dreams!

Victory is right around the corner!

Do you need a great inspirational speaker for your next event? No matter what you call it, I am available for your next conference, convention, conclave, convocation, reunion, rally, workshop, ed session, orientation, meeting, before/during/after breakfast/lunch/dinner, gathering, commencement, groundbreaking, team building, staff development, leadership retreat, continuing education, ceremony, assembly, congress, council, confab, forum, roundtable, symposium, opening session, closing session, or any session in between. My career story is also a feature here at Professional Speaking—Turning a Hobby Into a Career. I am available for speaking engagements either through my website or by emailing Kevin at OutOfYourRut

By Dave Kelly

Ok, here’s the thing…

I like reaching goals.

I am an achievement junkie.

I am really into setting an objective, quantifying it, putting together a plan, and then going after it with everything that I have.

That is cool to me. It gives me energy and excitement. Provides purpose.

When I was in elementary school, I set a goal of being 6’3” tall. I am 6’2”. Not bad. Almost got there. Betcha didn’t know height is controlled by goal setting! Are you short? Raise the bar, set a higher goal!

Sometimes, though, it makes me do goofy things. Take for example, “Gonzo’s Great Gold Quest”. This was my attempt to achieve my goal of qualifying as a Gold Medallion member of Delta Airlines Sky Miles program.

Why was that important?

Because I had missed it by only a few thousand miles each of the past three years. So, earlier in the fall, I started plotting to see if I could make it to Gold without having to take any extraneous/unnecessary flights. [Delta requires you to actually fly the miles for MQM status except in cases of certain credit card holders] I was well positioned coming into the fall, as I was more than half-way to my goal. My first gig of the fall was in southern Texas. That’s a long way from Atlanta! Alas, Delta could not get me to my airport destination: Midland/Odessa. Welcome back, Continental, my old friend. Seeing Kirk Cameron (“Growing Pains”) on my flight from Houston to Midland/Odessa was a small consolation for not adding to my Delta total.

I added miles on subsequent trips, but then hit a few speed bumps. Georgia Southern University? Great school, had an awesome time. Three hour drive from my house and no commercial airport in Statesboro. Blackhawk Technical College in southern Wisconsin on Friday and Waubonsee Community College about an hour and half south of there on Saturday? Great! Flew up on Delta! Problem. Two gigs, one flight. And the only return that worked was on the Friendly Skies of United.

This type of subversion of my goal continued throughout the fall. Until finally, I calculated that I was going to come up 8,850 miles short of my goal, missing Gold for a third straight year. What to do?

I started plotting flights to Seattle, Anchorage, Los Angeles, anywhere that I could rack up miles. But, the costs were too prohibitive. What to do?

Then, I lucked out. On the day after Thanksgiving I found my answer. I was messing around with a couple of different travel sites as well as the Delta site, when I came across a $270 round trip airfare from Atlanta to LAX. What? How could that be? But, there it was. If I flew from Atlanta to LAX on Tuesday, December 15, I could fly there and then right back for that low price and pick up 3,892 miles. Boy, was this great!

But, it would still leave me over 5,000 miles short of my goal. Hmmmm, is it possible to do this roundtrip scenario and then… Could I do it again?

A few clicks on my keyboard and yes, I could do it again, and for the same price. I would fly from Atlanta to LAX at 7:30 in the morning, landing at 9:29 am local time and then return on the same plane at 10:40 am, arriving into Atlanta at 5:30 pm. I would have to change concourses, but I could then get on a flight back to LAX at 6:40 pm, which would arrive there at 8:50 pm. I would have a two-hour layover, until 10:55 pm before I would board the return trip to Atlanta. This would get me within 1100 miles of my Gold status!

It meant, however, that I had to find somewhere else to fly inexpensively. Chicago was not enough miles, New York was too expensive. Memphis and Savannah were close, but the pricing and timing would not work. Wait! I grew up in Wisconsin and go back there to speak. Milwaukee is 669 miles away according to Delta. So, if I fly roundtrip…

I would have it! Genius! Except for one thing…

How do I sell this to Honey Sweetie Darling, otherwise known as my wife?

Duh dunt duuuuuuuhhhh (he said in a dramatic voice)…

She had been running some errands on this day. I waited to see what kind of mood she was in when she came home. Bought some new clothes for our daughter, got all of her errands done, seemed happy enough. This seemed like as good a time as any to bring up this subject.

I was wrong.

“You want to do what?” she asked incredulously. I stayed calm and like Ralphie going for a Red Ryder BB gun, I maintained my focus. I showed her the travel sites and all of the flights that I had saved. I discussed the cost with her, but pointed out that by making it to Gold status, I could earn a free flight four times faster, which would cover some of the cost, and my Sky Club membership would be less. I also promised to write about the trip (here I am!) in order to hopefully reap some business benefit as a result. After all of my cajoling, she agreed but wanted to know, “When do I get to go on a silly trip?”

Some questions just can’t be answered in the moment.

I quickly set about booking the flights, so she could not change her mind. Within about 45 minutes, all flights were booked and I was committed to this project. I got really excited and started to tell other people about it. A good friend of mine just smiled and his eyes glossed over. “I want to go” was all he could say. Sorry, this would be my adventure. Over 9,000 miles in 30 hours. How fun was this going to be!

Or so I thought. The closer the trip got, the more I had second thoughts”

“What if the weather is bad?”

“What am I going to do all of that time?”

“What if I run into a travel delay somewhere along the line?”

“What if Delta finds some way not to award me Gold status?”

“What am I doing?”

I was a little nervous, but that kept the adrenaline flowing. Then I got an idea. Why not submit this trip to the Guinness Book of World Records for consideration as a world record. I went to their web site and found I could submit my request on line. I submitted it for consideration as “Most Miles Flown on Commercial Airlines within the Continental United States in a 24-Hour Period”. I was just submitting the ATL to LAX portions, 7784 miles. I was hoping to hear from them before I took the trip, but the web site told me that it takes 3-4 weeks to certify a record attempt. I could have paid to “fast track” it, but since I was going to fly anyway, I didn’t see any point in that. Now my trip was taking on some exciting dimensions.

I recorded a video in my basement talking about the trip to let my friends and social media followers know what was going on. I posted it on my YouTube channel at http://www.YouTube.com/gonzospeaks. (The direct link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdZNtkbpZoY.) I wanted to do more, though, so I hit upon an idea. What if I were to make a video of me getting ready for my big day, “practicing” some of the stuff that I would experience? I got very excited and enlisted my friend Marc and we went to the local mall and shot me doing things like running through the airport—in slow motion, riding escalators, grabbing food on the run, and more. The video for this is also on my YouTube channel and is called “Gonzo’s Gold Quest Preview” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LACswPLbi8E. We did the video on the Saturday prior to Tuesday, the day my travel would begin.

I had a hard time going to sleep the night before this trip. I had my alarm set for 4 am and I think I got about 2 ½ hours of sleep. I was scared to go to sleep, lest I oversleep and miss the whole thing! That did not happen and I put on some comfortable clothes and got ready to go to the airport. I asked my wife to send out a note to my e-newsletter list about the trip and to encourage people to watch Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube for updates. She shot a picture of me that was clearly posed, but with a 5:30 am backdrop.

I drove to the airport, parked, and headed into the terminal. I had no bags to check, since I intended to wear the same clothes the whole trip. Hey, if I can live with myself, so can the people around me. It also meant that once I went through security in Atlanta, I could complete all six of my flights without having to go back through again.

My first flight, from Atlanta to LAX was from Gate T-4, which is right past security. This was a good break, since I would not have to ride the train to get to my concourse. I hit the Delta Sky Club to use some free internet to update Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Then, I headed to the gate and boarded the plane. I am seated in the back section of the plane, in the first row past the bulkhead. Nobody is seated on either side of me.

I sat in the middle seat, feeling like Captain Kirk, with the huge monitor in front of me. I would be able to follow my flight all across the country. When I was awake. Since I did not get a lot of sleep, I thought that I would spend most of this first flight sleeping. I was just about to doze off when the pilot came on to tell us about the flight ahead of us.

I am not making this up

Our pilot was “American Top 40’s” Casey Kasem. “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Our flight today should be smooth and last about 4 hours. Just enough time to count down the hits. Let’s start with a long distance dedication from Delta to Gonzo. Written by John Denver in 1966, it is “Leaving on a Jet Plane”. As I am listening to the song and drifting off to sleep, I heard the pilot come over the intercom and say, “And now, on with the countdown.”

I might have been a little sleep-deprived and that could be affecting my memory.

I woke up when the food cart came by and I got an Egg Salad Wrap. A delicious blend of cream cheese, spicy Pepper Jack cheese, and Boars Head Mesquite Smoked Turkey. It was topped with egg salad, roasted red peppers, black beans, and then rolled inside sun-dried tomato pitas, making two perfect snack sized wraps. Served with a side of salsa. $7.00

The guy across the aisle got a bag of peanuts. Free.

I might have gotten ripped off.

My plan was to run to the Sky Club as soon as I landed to update Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. The flight goes well. I wake up with a little turbulence over Memphis, but go back to sleep a little while later. When I wake up again, I see hills and mountains out the right hand side of the plane. There is snow on top of some of the peaks. It is a beautiful sight. We are near LA. How cool!

I still have over 7,000 miles to go before I am done

Got off the plane, took a picture with my cell phone of an “I Love LA” store to prove I was there and went to the Sky Club. I got my boarding pass for the return to Atlanta since I could not get it on-line.

Here is my update post from Facebook, no time to record a video:

AT LAX, 1st leg done! 1941 miles covered, 7062 to go. Slept most of flight. Back to ATL at 1:30 EST, writing my Sermon on the Mount book. Btw, showing how to buckle a seat belt?? Really, FAA, really? If you can’t buckle on the ground, when you fly, you get bounced around! Food so far? Mmmm, peanuts. Tasty, tasty peanuThey started boarding my flight back to Atlanta at 9:50 am, I get to the gate at 10:00 am. There is a long line, however, as a Silver Medallion member I have breezeway privileges. It is a wonderful thing! I cruise past the line and get on the plane. I have an exit row, bulk head seat. Sweet! I do not have the aisle, but that is OK. There is actually space between my seat and the wall of the plane. The guy in the window seat in the row behind me is able to stretch his legs out next to my seat. I sleep some more and, apparently, I snore. I wake up at one point, over Memphis when things were a little shaky, and I am looking towards the interior of the plane. The guy in the aisle seat next to me is staring right at me.

Clearly, he hates me. I don’t care. I doze off again, only to be awakened by a presence. I look up and there is “Stretch” from the row behind me, sliding past me, between my seat and the wall on his way to the restroom. He is wearing an inflatable pillow on the back of his neck, kind of like the HANS device that race car drivers wear. The only thing I can think of is, “Are we swapping paint with another plane” (Yes, I have watched some NASCAR in my time.)

We land in Atlanta at gate T-1. My flight back to LAX leaves from gate E-10. You almost can not be further apart between two gates. I grab a Nathan’s 15-piece hot dog nugget pack and head for the train. Quick stop in the Sky Club for an update:

½ way to my 24 hour goal! Flight back to LAX in a few mins from ATL. Already flown 3,882 miles today to end up right back where I started! I have an upgrade for the morning flight to Milwaukee. That means a big, comfy seat to sleep in!

I run out. I make it, again with seconds to spare. This plane is huge. They have the sleeper seats in 1st and Business Class. They look so cool. I am in seat 49G, aisle. Pretty far back in the plane. The couple next to me are nice, quiet, small. I nod hello to them and wonder, “Would they fit in the overhead compartment”. I’m just saying. Then I could pull up the arm rests and sleep. Fortunately for them, the overhead is full. Oh well, they don’t take up much space.

I wait until I watch the safety video to put on my seat belt. Don’t want to do it wrong. “What? I can’t smoke on the flight? Really? Now , what do I do? Oh, yeah. I don’t smoke, so no problem. I also prefer not to drown, so let’s avoid that whole water landing thing, too, OK?”

Getting late and the day is long, so I just sorta watch TV and doze. I have a great flight attendant in my area named Judy. She has been with Delta for 42 years. So you know she can write her own ticket and fly when she wants. We chat and she gives me extra peanuts. I am in the exit row, aisle seat, bulkhead by the restrooms. The guy next to me apparently considers his airfare to be a cover charge and the plane a giant cocktail lounge in the air. He keeps running Judy back and forth for Jack and Cokes. Eventually he falls asleep. Thank goodness! I fall asleep, too.

Until…

Apparently the movie ended and a lot of people got up to use the restroom at the same time. I hear noises back and forth across both sides of the plane from the restrooms kind of like an airborne “Battleship” game. Judy gets so disgusted she starts spraying Channel #5 in the air. I have never enjoyed smelling like a Delta flight attendant so much in my life. Near the end of the flight I swear I saw Napoleon Dynamite’s brother come out of the bathroom.

So, now I am in LAX for two hours. I get my first full meal of the day and start thinking about my next move. Then it hits me. Hamsters! My daughter, Little One, and I play a game where we pretend to be hamsters. She is a big Hannah Montana fan and so one day I altered some of the lyrics to “Party in the USA” to be “Party in the Hamster Cage”. She took it the rest of the way and finished the parody for us. The real song starts out, “I hopped off the plane in LAX…” and our parody is, “I hopped out the cage in LAX…” And here I was in LAX! Time to pull out the digital recorder!

I found an area that did not have a lot of people in it, right across from the “I Love LA” store. I set my backpack up on a vacant counter at the gate and prop up the camera. There was a weird guy next to me doing something on his computer, but this was the best spot to do my video. I did not have all of the lyrics memorized, but I went for it anyway. The result is at this link on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icW8tO936Ik.

My wife thought Little One and I should shoot a rendition of the song together, so in late January 2010, we recorded a duet. We call the “character” Hamster Montamster. Here is that video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrTAtO7wd28.

Back to the trip

I edit my video in the Sky Club, freshen up a little and hit the plane at 10:30 pm. Once again, the breezeway is my friend. Back in the exit row, with the bulkhead. I love that row. I talk with my seat mate who is a college student at a Baptist college outside of Los Angeles. She is from South Carolina and headed home for Christmas break. We talk for a while, then she falls asleep. I want to sleep, but can’t. In my delirium of flight, I get an inspiration…

What if David Letterman gets wind of this trip. I mean, come on, this is the ultimate stupid human trick. 9,000 miles in 30 hours. I decide he would love the idea and invite me to come on the “Late Show” to do a Top Ten List, “Top 10 Things About Flying 9,000 Miles on Commercial Airlines in 30 Hours”:

#10: Wearing the same clothes for two days in a row
#9: All of the non-stressed, pleasant people who work for the airlines
#8: TSA never got suspicious of the same guy coming through security five times in 24 hours, but my grandma flies once in her life and gets strip-searched
#7: Guinness World Records certifies longest fingernails of all time, but ignores me
#6: Flying 9,000 miles while going commando
#5: Being lulled to sleep by the oceanic sounds of the restrooms
#4: Crashing a White House dinner (Oh yeah, that was the other idiots)
#3: No number 3, writer recording Miley Cyrus video parody as a swamp rat
#2: Tried riding a pogo stick all of the way on one flight; Guinness still yawns
#1: Peanuts, baby, peanuts!

I fall asleep, until…

Memphis. Are you kidding me? I fly over this city four times in one day and have turbulence every time. I can only guess it is caused by the residual effect of millions of hip gyrations from Elvis Presley causing seismic fluctuations over the area.

I make it back to Atlanta and I have almost three hours before my flight to Milwaukee. I am looking forward to my first class upgrade. “Yay! Gonna sleep. Yay!” I head to the Sky Club to update my Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter and record a mid-trip update. You can watch it at the link below. I reference the making of the hamster video, but if you made it this far, then you have already seen it. Here’s the video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfXJUpqzFIA. My on-line update is:

2/3 thru Gonzo’s Great Gold Quest! Awesome to set a goal & have experience of achieving.

Obviously my verbosity is waning

After grabbing breakfast, off to the gate for my Milwaukee flight. I settle into my big comfy, first class seat and all I can think is that we do not fly over Memphis! I am about to drift off to sleep, when I hear something strange. This is one of the older Delta planes. They do not have video screens throughout the plane, so they have to actually speak the safety script over the intercom and physically demonstrate it. The head flight attendant says, “Fasten the seat belt while seated…” How else would you do it? I doze off and dream that I am a crash test dummy.

Technology is great for travelers, but sometimes it does not cooperate. For some reason, I have not been able to print my boarding pass for the return from Milwaukee to Atlanta. So, I know that as soon as I get off the plane I know I have to immediately get my boarding pass at the ticket counter in Milwaukee for the return trip. We land after cruising in over Lake Michigan and I am psyched to get myself squared away for the last leg of my journey. I walk up the jet way and…

Head straight to the nearest seller of hot dogs.

So good. Yum! I log on to check email. Check the bank accounts. Credit card statement. Hmmm, what am I forgetting? Oh yeah, I have to head home! I run to the gate, the flight is nearly all boarded and they have given away my sweet exit row seat. So, I get seat 37A, right next to the restrooms. Soon, I am drifting away to the sounds of the ocean emanating from the restrooms.

I awake upon our arrival in Atlanta and I am really hungry. I want steak. The best I can do in the airport is steak fajitas. I savor them. Next step is to leave the secured area of the airport. I walk towards it with trepidation. Is my journey really done? Do I have all of the miles I need? I cross the line that you cannot come back from crossing and a bright light shines upon me…

I am Gold! What a great feeling! A few weeks later I find out that Guinness doesn’t think my effort is worthy of recognition (after all, it is not the “Most hand claps in 24 hours” record). But, I have a new mission in life. To be the best I can be—in all aspects of my life. If I simply put forth the same effort I did on this trip, then I can achieve all of the goals that I have for my life.

What is your “Gold Quest”? Share it below, or comment on how others can make their quests become real.

Do you need a great inspirational speaker for your next event?

No matter what you call it, I am available for your next conference, convention, conclave, convocation, reunion, rally, workshop, ed session, orientation, meeting, before/during/after breakfast/lunch/dinner, gathering, commencement, groundbreaking, team building, staff development, leadership retreat, continuing education, ceremony, assembly, congress, council, confab, forum, roundtable, symposium, opening session, closing session, or any session in between. I present practical information in a fun and informative manner with humor, stories of overcoming obstacles, and with anecdotes about cats, football, and biscuits and gravy (among others). I can entertain and inspire your audience for 15 minutes to as long as you need me to. Please call or email me and we can easily work out the details! To see what dates I have available, feel free to contact me via email.

STRATEGY #10 TO SURVIVE A DOWN ECONOMY

By Kevin M

When careers and money become questionable foundations in our lives, what’s left? It’s often only in bad economies that we even entertain the question.

In 10 Ways To Survive a Down Economy (published on Christianpf.com June 1) we listed ten strategies to help us deal with the bad economy. Our topic for today, the final strategy, Strategy #10:

Seek fulfillment beyond your work. In a world where careers are no longer either peaceful or progressive, self actualizing through your work may not be the path it’s been in the past. Fortunately, there are plenty of opportunities to find fulfillment outside of work. Take more active roles in regard to your health, family, faith and community.

When times are good, and jobs, money and credit are plentiful, there’s a tendency for us to become self-contained. We self-actualize through our work, and surround ourselves with the things that prosperity enables us to afford. But when the foundations of that life are shaken or even dismantled, where do we turn to find comfort, platforms from which to rebuild and a sense of self-worth?

Self

The word has an almost negative connotation, but during prosperous times when work is plentiful, it’s easy to define ourselves principally by the work we do. But is that who truly who we are on the inside? And if our work has been downgraded, or is completely gone, then who are we? Now is a good opportunity to spend some alone time, purposely visiting (or revisiting) the question, who am I and what do I stand for?

When we’re on the fast track at work, a certain go-along-to-get-along mindset tends to seep into our lives. Things are going well with work, we’re making money—and all of that is good—so we need to put this or that aspect of our lives on the back burner for later. But maybe now IS later!

Spend some quiet time thinking, or talking with family and friends about the type of person you are, what you may be suited for, and to consider and discuss some plans you may have been nursing but never had the time to act on.

Family

Men are especially guilty of putting excessive time into our careers, and claiming to be doing it for our families. While this is necessary to a very large degree, we sometimes pursue career success in the name of our families without ever stopping to see what it is that our families want.

Recessions are a good time to take this issue up with our families. Hard times inadvertently help us to find more time to be with our families. If you’ve lost your job or your business has failed, one silver lining is that you’ll have more time to spend with your family. Take advantage of this. Find out what it is they want from you, have some fun and build some memories. A period of unemployment may be a financial negative, but it may also be a time to bond with family in a way that will strengthen the family unit and build cherished memories that will last a lifetime.

Community

How many of us have neighbors we don’t even know? That’s a sad statement on our times, but also fairly typical as we increasingly immerse ourselves in electronic media such as wide screen TVs, computer games, cell phones, I-pods and the computer on which you’re reading this post. There’s real utility in expanding our networks of contacts beyond our immediate communities via those media, but we shouldn’t use those networks as a virtual replacement for those of the flesh and blood variety either.

We may not think of it in this way, but the physical communities we live in are our most basic networks. While were searching the World Wide Web for networks around the globe, one already exists right outside the front door. When we’re consumed with work and looking to expand virtual connections, there’s often little time left for involving ourselves with the people and circumstances in our most immediate environments.

People who are physically present are also in the best position to provide direct help. Watching each others kids, running errands for one another or helping with a major repair project on the house or car when we can’t afford to pay an outsider, are examples of things we can’t get from the worldwide web. Never are we more dependent (and interdependent) on the people around us than when we’re experiencing a crisis.

But community is something which must be developed and practiced on an ongoing basis, and in order to have a network of willing helpers, or even just people to be with us to listen during times of trouble, we first need to be willing participants in that community. If you suddenly find yourself with more time on your hands due to job loss or reduction in hours, or even just a fear of what the future may hold, seek greater involvement in your local community. One of the very best ways to find helpers in that community is to become a helper yourself. We can all help one another in so many capacities, and that’s the basis of any successful network.

Faith

It’s become common these days to dismiss faith in a higher power as “old world”—something people believed back when no one knew any better. Against the backdrop of science, technology, all encompassing careers and an admittedly very impressive entertainment establishment, it’s easy for faith to seem irrelevant. But humanity has practiced religion from its very beginnings, well into the last century and still in many quarters all over the world today, so we can’t be quick to discount it’s relevance.

When a job loss or some other disaster befalls us, God can suddenly seem closer to us, in much the same way that we can never realize how many stars there are in the night sky until we find ourselves in a place without civilizations lights. Absent our usual props, we can become more open to the possibility of a higher power and the implications that it carries for our lives.

Being a person of faith, I’m biased here. But one of the most liberating things I’ve come to learn in my own faith journey is that it isn’t all about me, and it isn’t all about here, and it isn’t all about now. The world, the future of civilization and even my very life don’t depend on my plans and endeavors working out the way I expect them to. And you know what? It’s OK. A higher power will reset the pins even if I somehow knock them all down, and life will go on. Even if things look dark right now, at some point they’ll get a lot better.

Seek out faith, or reacquaint yourself with it if you grew up with it and fell away. Few endeavors in life can provide the comfort and sense of self-worth in the face of catastrophe that a solid faith walk can.

Health and fitness

Often when we’re in career high gear, and up to our necks in tasks, agendas and phone calls, a few things slip past us. A big one is health. Let’s face it, taking care of ourselves takes time, time to prepare healthier meals and to exercise. When our schedules are packed, it’s easy to let these efforts slide. With the slowing of the business treadmill, there may be more time to devote to taking care of our bodies.

Ultimately this is a good thing. Though we don’t normally think of health and fitness in financial terms, in fact they carry a huge impact. If we can work to improve our health, many other plusses will come our way. Better health equals more energy, self confidence and a better outlook on life. All of these are assets in what ever we plan to do in life, including getting back on the career and business treadmill. We can prepare our bodies now for the next shift in the economy, which ever way it goes.

Causes

I’m not deep into politics, but we all do our share of complaining about the political system. In truth few of us ever get truly involved. There are issues all around that disturb each of us, and we can get involved in the political process as a way of making things better. I’m not talking about pushing for a change in national political agenda, but there’s plenty that can be done at the local level where our voices can be heard. And sometimes movements get started at the local level then go national. When work is all consuming, there may not be time to get involved, but in the current slowdown, that time may be available.

Consider getting involved in charitable work as well. We may not have money to give to help others, but we all have our time and effort. Just like with faith, working to help with activities that are completely beyond our own lives helps us to realize that everything in our lives doesn’t and shouldn’t revolve solely around us.

Bonus points: involving ourselves in political or charitable activities may not provide us with a job or income, but either could put us in contact with people or circumstances that can.

Hobbies

I saved this one for last not only because it’s the most fun, but also because it may also be the most productive. Most of us have hobbies – activities or interests usually having nothing to do with our career paths. But what ever we may work at as a career, it’s our hobbies which often define our passions. And it’s from those passions that future directions, including careers, can be found.

If you’ve recently lost your job, feel certain you will or have hit a ceiling above which you don’t expect to rise anytime soon, now may be an excellent time to look to the future in the things that you like to do. You spent years of your life working at something you may not like much (or might even hate); if that’s come to an end, maybe it’s time to look closely at doing what you love. Inventory your list of hobbies, interests and passions, and consider if there may be a future career lurking somewhere in there, even if only as a side business. If we can work at something we feel passionately about, our careers may not feel so much like work. Many people begin new careers and businesses doing just that.

If it seems as if career and finances have taken a turn for the worse, maybe it’s time to take a closer look at these “softer sides” of life for answers.

By Dave Kelly

Are you worried about how things are going? Persevere and Persist

Having financial problems? Persevere and Persist

Lost your job? Persevere and Persist

Things seem a little out of control? Persevere and Persist

Are you to the point where you have no idea what to do? Persevere and Persist

You will come through this. You will overcome the challenges you face. You only have to do one thing: Persevere and Persist

We all came into this world the same way: no career, no portfolio, and a zero credit rating. We all leave this world the same way. How we spend the time in between is up to us. How you face challenges is up to you. Sadly, some people give up. They allow power, prestige, money, possessions, and things to define who they are. When those things are lost, they are lost. When you feel that way: Persevere and Persist

At this point, it is very tempting to share a story of how I persevered and persisted. Or one of a friend. Or of a famous person, such as Edison, Lincoln, or the creators of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”. But, I’m not going to do that. Instead, I want you to remember a time that you persevered and persisted in your past. Or perhaps recall something that a parent, family member, or friend shared with you of their experience.

Focus in on that experience. How did it happen? What steps were taken to overcome and win? Now think of whatever you are facing now: do you want it bad enough to do whatever it takes to win/succeed (within legal, moral, and ethical frameworks)? Then…

Persevere and Persist!

Dave Kelly is a professional speaker and host of the website Gonzospeaks.com, and a contributing writer here on OutOfYourRut.com. His career story is also a feature here at Professional Speaking—Turning a Hobby Into a Career. Dave is available for speaking engagements either through his website or by emailing Kevin at OutOfYourRut