OutOfYourRut.com » stepping up

Shine like a star, know who you are

Kevin M — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:13:30 +0000

By Dave Kelly

I got this month’s tip from a future speaking star! She is an energetic young lady who is one of the most positive people I know. She approaches life with fun and excitement and is great to be around.

When I asked her about this quote, she told me how important it is to know who you are and be that person.

Simple idea, huh?

Yet, how often do you act in ways that are different than who you really are? At work, school, even around friends, many times we put on personas that are not our “real person”, our inner self. We are told to grow up and relinquish things that give us joy. In the movie “Heathers”, the character played by Winona Ryder gave up playing with Barbie dolls with her best friend in order to join the “in” crowd, to become someone she wasn’t. After much mayhem, she found her true self and saved her friends from a horrible fate.

For years, I was a hot-shot mortgage broker with offices in several states. I was building a company in a business that I really did not enjoy. I played the part of business man for 10 of those years. I was successful, but not happy.

What I really wanted was to be on stage. I wanted to be in front of audiences. I wanted to help people change their lives in deep, meaningful ways.

So, I became who I was meant to be—a professional speaker. In mid-2004 I changed my focus from mortgages to speaking and my life has been so much better for it. I have an opportunity to “shine like a star” every day and especially each time I step on stage.

Oh, and that future speaking star with the super-positive attitude? Her name is Katie and she turns 7 on Thursday. If she understands this at her age, what is holding you back?

Time to shine!

Dave Kelly is a professional speaker and host of the website Gonzospeaks.com, and a contributing writer here on OutOfYourRut.com. His career story is also a feature here at Professional Speaking—Turning a Hobby Into a Career. Dave is available for speaking engagements either through his website or by emailing Kevin at OutOfYourRut

Don’t let stress rule your life; silly is more fun!

Kevin M — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:05:17 +0000

By Dave Kelly

My six-year-old daughter loves to play a game we call “bears”. We get under the covers in the master bedroom and pretend that it is our cave. We hibernate. We hit the snooze alarm for spring (two more days). We fish in the salmon pond in the upstairs of our cave and we eat sheep burgers (no animals are harmed during this game). We dance around in pretend meadows of flowers and she goes to bear camp and I go to bear work. I think of funny things to say that will make a six-year-old laugh, like going shopping for the “bear necessities”, and we giggle and have a good time.

We usually play when she gets home from school, right before or after dinner, or whenever we can find five spare minutes. That used to be work time when I was in the mortgage business. In fact, all of the time used to be work time. My office has been in my basement since 2001 and my wife used to come downstairs at 9 or 10 at night and wonder when I was “coming home”. It seemed like I never relaxed. In reality, I was pretty stressed out most of the time.

The truth is I did not understand the value of silly. I gave in to stress and let it control my life, my work, and my relationships.

Thank goodness for my six-year-old daughter has taught me how to be silly again and what is truly important in my life.

I hope that there is someone in your life who reminds you how to be silly on occasion, because it sure is a whole lot more fun than being stressed out!

Go the extra mile, Part II

Kevin M — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 10:53:17 +0000

By Dave Kelly

A couple of days before Christmas, I was in my garage about to get in my car to go to a meeting. A large overnight delivery service truck pulled up to my neighbor’s house and the driver hopped out with a package. He looked up and waved at me, walked past my neighbor’s car in the driveway, and set the package down next to the garage. He punched in some buttons on his delivery scanner, hopped back in his truck, and drove off.

Did you see what was wrong in this scenario?

Need to read it again?

He “walked past my neighbor’s car in the driveway”. My neighbor was home! Yet, he only did the minimum of what was required. If he was willing to go the extra mile, he would have gone to the door, rang the bell, and attempted to hand the package (most likely a present) to my neighbor.

With all of the news about identity theft and people prowling around during the holidays, why didn’t the driver try to do his best, rather than the bare minimum? An extra 20 feet to the front door and he would have provided excellent customer service. Those few extra feet would have been the difference between excellence and mediocrity.

Do you go the extra mile in your work, school, family, life? Or do you settle for the bare minimum.

Oh, by the way, what kind of neighbor am I? Mediocre. I got in my car and drove to my meeting, instead of doing what I should have done—let them know about their package. Guilty as charged!

I commit to being an excellent neighbor from now on. What do you commit to?

Do the best you can do in all that you do

Kevin M — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 12:37:00 +0000

By Dave Kelly

I was a server all through college and even for a couple of years after I graduated. I worked in fine dining environments, up-scale restaurants, and pubs, wearing anything from long-sleeved dress shirts with a tie to a polo shirt and khakis. Everywhere I worked, I wanted to be known as the best server. Not one of the best. THE best.

During my “serving career,” I worked with a lot of people who did just enough to get by. I never understood that. Those same co-workers could never understand why I consistently made more in tips than they did and why customers would request me as their server. I decided that if I was going to be working, I was going to get the most out of it by giving it my all. And the results paid off.

Those experiences helped shape me in my life, mortgage career, and now in my career as a professional speaker and author. In sports, the phrase is “leave nothing on the field.” The idea is this: you can’t save up anything because the game at hand must be won, and giving your best effort is the right kind of habit you need to create success.

When I became Circle K District Administrator for Georgia, I resolved to be the best district administrator in the history of Circle K International. Not that such a thing could ever be measured, but that idea motivated me to do my best. I had to set the example (and standard) for our students, advisors, and Kiwanis sponsors. If I ever let up, I knew it would be a disservice to those who were counting on me. When I finally retired from that position in March 2007, I could give no more. Nothing was left on the field.

These efforts paid off with amazing results: students fulfilled their potential, thousands of service hours were performed, more chapters were established than at any time in the district’s history, and advisor and Kiwanis sponsor involvement and support reached all-time highs. Not only that, but I was named as a distinguished district administrator for each of my nine years.

Do you take this same approach in all that you do? Each time I get before an audience, no matter how tired I may be from traveling or what kind of day I have had, I give my best. That may be the only time those in the audience will ever hear me present and I want it to be the best I can deliver.

It’s easier when it is something you love to do, but it is possible with everything that you do.

The results will show!